Lots going down today. I feel like Stevie Ray Vaughn's song, "The Sky is Crying," figuratively and physically. Wiped out. Woke up to two phone calls from two great friends. Anna wanted to tell me some good news and as soon as I get some coffee in me will call her back. And Marylynn was out and about and off work this week and wanted to grab coffee, but I am not fit for friend nor beast today. I'm just not in a good place.
My Manhattan classes are wearing me down, especially the 8:30 one. It's amazing how one person can change the entire dynamics of a classroom. Incredible. Luckily that person comes once every third class but I am going to have to do something, just tell the entire class their grade (as well as the verbal mouth) that part of their grade is in jeopardy for all the rude and incessant talk. For now, for today, I'm letting it roll off me. I'm so over all of this. I know the good I am doing, have done. I know I have paid my dues. Paid off some huge sin somewhere and I know I am ready to move on.
So for that realization, it, and the good, is all good.
Time to make the coffee.
Other than that, family life is good. Leila, Sarah, good. So I'm good. My family back home, well, that's another story. Steve and I are truly trudging through the tundra. There are no mistakes. But here's the deal...after all these years he and I are still trying to create and instead of heavy support and praise, we get messed with, pushed aside, relagated to the back of the bus because we aren't playing the game. None of this is said or even done. It is simply the absence of good hearted energy, action put to the faith, but again, none of this matters unless I say it matters. It is simply the will I exert within that changes my World.
It will never stop me. Nor will the talking jag student. It's all water off this duck's back. I know who I am: I am Leila and Sarah's Mom and I am a writer who has trouble sleeping but is learning how to fly.
And yes, 'the sky is still crying' yet it is what causes the buds to spring. This seed is growing.
On a lighter note, I'm planning a feed on Sunday and this is Leila's birthday month, so there's another celebration coming, and I want to have a fun dinner party for some of my friends who are writers and good souls. I'm having a Martha Stewart moment in planning it and the ray of sunshine I need to get through this rain.
Check out my brother's new blog: http://ontheborderofart.blogspot.com or check out his art at: http://homepage.mac.com/stevenhastings/Menu37.html. Or simply click under my fav links: Steve's the King.
Go out (or in) and create. Find the real treasure.
Peace.
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