Watching "The Virgin Suicides" with Sarah as she paints her fingernails. I've just eaten a quarter of a pint of Ben & Jerry's Lite Rocky Road. Leila is asleep in the back and earlier we ate a small feast. I went into the refrigerator and cooked up the thin cutlets, made a salad with sunflower seeds and croutons, baked beans, red grapes, shrimp and corn bread. Eating is what people do after losing a loved one. I did the dishes and cleaned the bathroom before going out to write at The Promenade where I sat waiting for it to rain, not caring if it did.
I keep telling my daughters that when the next cat grows ill and needs to be put down, I shall not go. I am never doing that again. Call me a baby, but it hurt too much.
I know I need to be strong; he was the girls' cat afterall, but I was the Mama, and this Mama is eating tonight, each forkful easing the pain and telling me that I am with my daughters, and that we did the right thing for our precious baby.
1 comment:
Dear Sheela,
please don't worry about Oscar. He's on to his next great adventure. What the best part is, out of all the people he could have lived with, he chose you and the girls.
You are blessed among women, because as Freud said, "Time spent with cats is time not wasted." Obviously, Oscar was a good soul, as he came back this time as a beautiful, lovable, consicious, cool, and happy kitty.
You know he will always be with you in your heart and soul. They can't take that away from you, ever. He actually helped make you the great writer you are today. Everything is a blessing to those who see God's Big Picture.
I, myself, cried for days when Shiba died, because of all the time I should have spent with her and chose not too.
Really, very sad, I'll never forget what Shiba taught me though…to always live in the moment, while you are actually together and still have the chance.
"Seize the Day," is what Oscar would have said, if he had cared to speak English.
Fairwell, my good friend, my sweet little soul…we will meet again someday,
I promise! I'll see you in the that big catbox in the sky, my love.
You, Sheela Doreen, make me very proud to be your brother, when I see all the compassion you have for Life…very impressive!
I love you Sheela, more than you will ever know. That's saying a lot from an evil person like me. You have been and still are my muse.
I just love the way you turned out. God is surely good to those who do his will, and you are definately one of His.
All my love and condolences,
Uncle StevenBsad
(Maybe Morris and Shiba will become good friends on the other side)
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