Tell Me, What Do You Want?

What a gorgeous day. The treetop leaves dancing outside my fire escape are turning and against the blue sky I can feel my lungs resume their breathing. Yesterday I stumbled into Barnes and Noble to cram for a Monday night class I agreed to teach to city workers needing to take the GED test.

Yikes. This is new territory for me. Getting back to the basics; well rounded, rounding out, no mistakes. It is as close to a classroom as I am getting. The idea of helping city workers keep their job satisfies me and I can dress to do this good work.
The coordinator is a jewel, too. Good work, good people. It's one tiny slice of a job, but it's a start. I am walking by faith now. The late night thoughts of coulda, shoulda, woulda are over. It's time to walk on water and let my true self show me the way.

While in B&N, I grabbed the thick GED testing book and then swiveled around to the Writing section and there was a book there, right underneath the shelf holding Natalie Goldberg's "Writing Down the Bones" which I thought would help me to read again, but there, there was a paperback with a curious title, "Making a Literary Life: Advice for Writers and Other Dreamers," by Carolyn See. Hmmm....spark, recognition, decision in that split second. Do I want to make a literary life? It was the universe asking me.

Yes, yes, yes.

I took Carolyn See's book with me to the Cafe and bought a small coffee and bagel, and with ownership sat in the B&N cafe for four hours reading her book, taking notes, and thanking the Source for this woman's generosity in helping me get over the next hurdle.

Published by Ballentine Books, if you wish to live a literary life, read Carolyn.

Next week is my 52nd birthday and I'm asking for her book as a gift. For before I went to the bookstore, I meditated, and in my solitary moment let my sadness come to the surface. I touched it, felt it between my fingers and then dressed to leave. In Carolyn See's writings about living the literary life, I found my happiness. Poor sadness. Gone.

It's a beautiful day.