On the eve of my last day in the physical classroom, I watched Suze Orman on PBS. She was helping them out by offering her book, "Women and Money". I'm going to get it from B&N and make my paltry donation to Channel 13 where my beloved Charlie Rose and Tavis Smiley are shown every night. I wanted to make the entire $365 donation and get her portfolio that looks just great, but those dollars are precious right now. They're my oxygen. I called and almost made the pledge but then backed out. The young woman on the other end of the line was disgusted with me. I do want it. I do. I'll get it. I will receive the funds.
I've got a tooth bothering me. I had to laugh...Of course. One day away from freedom and I can't escape myself and my poor attention to myself. I hear and will comply. Luckily I have dental insurance that does not include the workplace. I learned back in 2000 that the places I've worked did not care enough to provide proper dental care, so I have it on my own. Thank you AARP. I'll have to make an appointment and go and make sure I haven't caused too much damage from my procrastinating ways.
Besides the tooth, I feel good. Alive. Ready to rumble. Yesterday I was like a caged animal at school. The place was empty except for students scrambling in to redeem themselves or turn in last minute papers. I bid the ones who came to me to go on and prosper. And I meant it.
I love them all.
Maybe I haven't been a real teacher and maybe I have been more of a teacher than I know. Near the end of this semester I started to begin to understand. A teacher is like a judge. Now I comprehend why I am so fascinated with the daytime judge shows: because like them I get to play judge with my students. To rate them with an internal measure that only I know. To determine their worth by their work and their character and how much truth I gather from them. To weigh their grade like the scale sign that I am: Libra.
I am quite pleased with my growth. I give myself a B+ for a job well done with improvement always possible.
I cleared my little workspace and found out another teacher has had her eye on it and plans to move her belongings there. So I'm officially gone. She wants to sit next to our mutual friend, Eileen. That's good. I see a strong and refreshing friendship coming from them.
Good.
An old flame and friend, Hector P., once told me I liked pomp and circumstance. He's right. Yesterday I wanted my boss to wish me well, as I had to my students, but she only threw a passing "hi" to me as she scanned the empty teacher's lounge. I'm of no use to her so why should she wish me well? I sat there and thanked the universe (and me) that I had the chutzpah to ask, ask, ask for a hole in the net. It's good to see how people really feel. Good to get out of the bubble.
I am free.
So I go in for one more class but it will be a piece of cake. Nearly all my students in the Saturday class have taken their final. I will welcome the stragglers and then send them on their way once they are done.
"Go and prosper," I will say again.
And I will mean it.
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