Tap Dancing on the Pews

As I have written in several posts, my religious upbringing began in Fundamentalism a la Christianity. My parents were born again when they were in their late 20s and I went to church three times a week for two decades before bowing out, but never giving up on Christ Consciousness. By the time I hit my early 40s, though, I was waking up to spirituality and trying to find ways to blend with my humanity. Now at 56, I see how it doesn't matter where you search when you are looking for wholeness, wellness, freedom of spirit. What matters is that you seek and I promise you....eventually you will find.

A few months ago, I discovered Tosha Silver who was being interviewed by Christiane Northrup. I heard Dr. Northrup early when I first moved to NYC in 1997. She was on the local PBS station and talking about menopause, menstruation and all the emotions that come with it. She kept talking about anger and feelings that rise up in these two stages of a woman's life, and I listened. Pay attention, she advised, to how you feel during menstruation because those are true emotions erupting from you and if you don't understand and work with them, by the time menopause comes you will feel it so much more. I listened and learned.

As I have communicated in previous posts, I seek answers to the questions inside me. And through a string of remarkable spiritual leaders, I have steered my canoe down this life's river pathway. My older daughter, Leila, and I hold a mutual liking for reading our horoscopes and so when I saw Tosha was into Astrology, I asked to be friends on Facebook, and her being wide open and generous, accepted. Suddenly there was a bonafide expert chilling with us. But this goes way beyond Astrology, as she will tell you.

We each bought her book, Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead, and here is a paragraph describing her book as found in Book Passage:

 Tosha Silver talks about Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead ($19.00), a compilation of funny, irreverently reverent stories on aligning with the Divine in daily life. For the passionately spiritual and bemusedly skeptical alike, Outrageous Openness asks the question, "What if God IS the story? What if the Divine is constantly igniting roadside flares to get our attention? What if there actually IS a Supreme Organizing Principle with a ribald and unbridled sense of humor? And what if we each have this ardent inner suitor who's writing us love letters every day that often go unopened?" 

Soon after reading Tosha's book, I realized I had in my possession a stoop find and it was one of Tosha's influences, Florence Scovel Shinn and so I started reading her book and it just blew me away. Her affirmations were masterful collections of powerful simplicity. I couldn't get enough! And when I finished Florence's book, I started using her affirmations and crafting mine, but soon I was stumbling, stuttering, and fumbling around with them, yet still trying to retain the "poise" she states necessary while practicing "active faith" and allowing the unseen to materialize however it will. Real answers to life's real problems and situations.

I became frustrated. The next day I talked to Leila who sang her happiness in "letting the Divine take the lead." I heard her high vibration, her connection, and therein lies the secret to finding the right rhythm of spirituality, i.e., listening 24/7 and as Leila spoke, I heard. "That's it!" I exclaimed. Make it as Florence and Tosha say, simple and prayerful, and as Leila reminded me from her example, to detach from the situation to let it work out however the irresistible and mega lovely Divine would undoubtedly do. Yee double Haw Haw!

I took a walk later that day, down to The Brooklyn Promenade where I luxuriously can take photographs along the way. As I was walking, I tried one of my newer, slimmed down affirmations and still was struggling with it. I hadn't found the sensation in the affirmation process as Florence says  that "clicks". Becoming more frustrated, suddenly I looked to my right and saw a big piece of plywood discarded in a trash bin area next to one of the brownstones. In the upper right hand corner and tagged in black lettering read the word, "RELAX."

I had to laugh. "Thank you," I whispered. I had been sucking the joy out of this perfect path. So, this is my new affirmation, one of many, as I learn to sculpt and play with the Divine:

God is my Source and I let the Divine take the Lead. Everything works out for my highest good.

And then I detach.

Today I met a good friend for breakfast in downtown Brooklyn at our usual spot, The New Apollo Diner. Afterwards, I walked back home, but first stopped in at Barnes and Noble to escape the heat. I met a man there in the Cafe as we stood in line for coffee, and he sat at my table and we talked for a couple of hours until he had to pick up his daughter from summer camp. It was magical and a couple of times I wondered if he wasn't an angel, but no, he's bones and flesh like me and he's been recently laid off from a publishing company here in New York. Married with a teen and eight-year old, he's now finding his way on his river road. I told him of my gem, Elder Campfire,  and he got it. We talked of it for a long time. He told me of his love for aquatic life, technology, social media, and in helping people. We marveled at the synchronicity of meeting at that exact moment.

As we sat there, I saw a truck on the street, waiting at the light. We had been talking about taking the leap into work outside the norm 9 to 5 and how to value our worth. I laughed and told him, "Look at that truck and what it says on the side." He turned and chuckled, saying, "Well, I guess I've got my sign, now don't I?"

It read Tru-Value.

And here's my point: If you follow as Tosha says, "the bread crumb trail" while seeking answers, you will get those answers, and God or however you choose to describe Divine Intelligence will be there lobbing answers to you with the greatest of color and joviality and love for life. It doesn't have to be a struggle for crying out loud! It just doesn't.

And this is what I feel is my crowning moment of understanding on this romp in this body at this juncture of eternity. It is this: To enjoy the signs along the way and to let the answers be shown in magical, understandable, perfect order. No explosions or meltdowns necessary. Which brings me right back to Christiane Northrup. There is no greater joy than knowing it is that easy and that fulfilling.

I am so thankful for everyone who practices active faith and listens to Divine Intelligence. Every book I have read by every spiritual author has saved me. Tosha and Florence "click" for me. For you, it might be another way and that is the beauty of it. Whatever flips your switch and sends you swimming into the unknown, happy and free, knowing you are connected to your Source.

I'm a believer.

 Sheela Wolford is a scrappy enthusiast who knows her purpose is to encourage. A writer, starry-eyed mother, good daughter, and better sister, she is working on a Grief Journal, a memoir about her mother and her, Elder Campfire- a program to give voice to elders, and a book about the years she spent from in brown Adidas running shoes, figuring out her life. "Like" her on Facebook on Workshops by Wolford.  And for heaven's sake, go buy Outrageous Openness.