"His Eye is on the Sparrow, and I know He Watches Me"

Been sleeping in too late after staying up even later once coming home from classes. Last night was my first explosion for this semester. There's always, well not always, but sometimes, a student who talks, talks, talks, can't stop and disrupts the entire session. That happened to me last night. Arggh. It's frustrating, but part of the job. I spent a huge chunk of my late evening mulling over how to regain order. That's the part of the work I do not like. I remember my brother, James, telling me that we run from pain, we humans that is, all of us. I want to run. So I'm up this morning (there's 50 minutes left of it) and trying still to figure out what to do. My dreams were filled with it, only I am so muddled right now I can't remember.

I have a couple of chores to do and it is just compounding my frustration when all I want to do is sit here or go to the Fall Cafe and write. I know now I will have to do it anyway. Spoke to my Mom yesterday and she made mention that novels often take years to write. That's code for 'Do it on your own time. In the crannies of your World.'

So I'm sitting here just in a weird and unhappy place. I have to go make magic with my bank account, return a purchase at Target (such a long walk, okay I need the exercise), grade some student responses, and swiffer the floors. Okay, that last line made me smile. I needed that. Poor, poor Sheela, she has to swiffer the floors! When will I remember how lucky I am to have floors. How precious was my student last night who has been through Hell and it is just spilling out of her. How necessary it is for me to charge up my voice and spread love.

Codepink wants us to call Pelosi and ask her to stand up and do the right thing. Seems like she's buckling. Politics. There's a compromise I'll never understand. To be a politician is to be the heart of the problem. How do you work your way out of that?

I'm a writer. I teach to pay the rent. But I will teach on a grander scale. I will not run from the pain, but embrace it and its hurtful hold on my students. I will find a channel of communication. And I will tell everyone around me to do it now. Several years is too long.